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Post by Maylea on Dec 23, 2011 10:11:11 GMT -8
No, no, no. No! It was a mistake. Turn back. Oh my goddess, I need to turn back now. This can't be happening. This was a mistake, I can't do this. I can't do anything right. I'm going to screw up, everyone's going to be staring at me, and laughing at me. I should go away, go very far away - where there is no one. No one to poke at me, laugh at me. I need to go away. . . far away. Safe. Yes! I need safe! Before it's too late! Before they- Her thoughts came to a complete halt as the little yearling's ears flew straight up, her light brown eyes locking onto the bush that was now rattling. Her breath caught in her throat, as she stumbled back, one clumsy, nervous step after another. NO! It's too late! I've been found. I've been discovered! They're going to come, all of them. They're going to laugh at me, scoff at me, hate me . . . They're going to . . . . oh . . . it's a rabbit. Her eyes slowly softened, her tense form beginning to relax as the tiny rabbit's head popped out of the bush, before it looked at her, and wrinkled it's nose. Instantly it seemed to sniff, sneeze, then turn and run away. Even the rabbit hates me!
Maylea dropped her head, her ears falling flat as she stared at the rabbit, watching it hope away through the openings and cracks between the vegetation. Away, far away from here . . . from her. The horror, it was as strong and as painful as a knife being struck through the heart, or any body part really. The rejection, though, there was never anything as painful as that. Never. It was as harsh as anything Maylea could ever imagine. The young, painted filly slowly dropped to her knees, her head folding towards her chest, tears forming in the corners of her eyes, hating how no one seemed to like her, no one ever seemed to like her. They all ran, they always run as far away as possible. They never stayed, they never spoke, they just ran. Why bother, why bother at all with getting to know others, trying to meet them, to see them when they always leave? That was little Maylea's point of view.
Maylea sighed, shaking her head, and stood, although her head was still low. She wiped her tears against her leg, attempting to get rid of them before moving forward slowly. Each step seemed uncertain, hesitant; as if she were afraid someone would come suddenly and snarl at her. To tell her to go away, to prove she wasn't wanted. I'm never wanted. Who'd want an ugly thing like me around? She sighed, as she moved forward, stepping towards the Isles. The truth wasn't visible to her eyes though, the fact Maylea was nothing that she thought she was. In truth, she was very pretty for a yearling, her body that of a dark, dark chocolate color, white frame/sabino markings covering her delicate form. Mix that with her understanding, almost shy light brown gaze, and her frosted, strawberry blonde locks, and she truly was a pretty little girl. But she'd never truly see it. In her eyes, she'll always be less than perfect, unwanted . . . the fifth, and unnoticed child of her father.
She looked away, lowering her gaze as she continued to move, the air changing slightly, the coolness from the water being carried on it. She moved along slowly, the vegetation giving away to white sand, and clear water. She looked around as she slowly emerged from the vegetation, and felt a rush of relief. No one was in sight. She moved slowly, closed her eyes briefly, before taking a deep breath and managing a small smile. Finally, she'd found a place to just . . . be alone, where no one can hurt her. She lowered herself to the ground slowly, her legs folding beneath her, relief flooding her tired muscles as she curled up on the warm sand. Not only a quite, empty place . . . but a place to rest too . . . She couldn't have been more relieved . . .
"Shy honesty"
Whispered secrets
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Post by Solar on Dec 30, 2011 12:31:39 GMT -8
 The heat was starting to get to me, playing tricks on my mind. Silhouettes of those past turning up in the corners of my vision causing me quickly turn in their direction to only see a tree or rock. Usually a heavy sigh follows before I continue with whatever I was doing. What was I doing? To be honest, I don't remember anymore. Aimlessly wandering I suppose. Trying to have things make sense within my inner musings. Something that was proving to be more difficult as each day cycled through. Ever since waking up amidst piles of snow with a throbbing headache I couldn't recall much of anything. Still now, as a year or two has passed on nothing comes to memory. I consider myself quite lucky to remember my own name and with that bit of information I was going to turn this unknown-ness into a second chance at life. So far, things are beginning to look up, just with a minor hiccup thrown in such as the events of this morning.
With the strength of the sun's rays increasing as it passes the midday mark in the sky I found myself leisurely strolling about underneath the shade of some massive tree's branches. The thought of water trickling deep within my inner workings. Maybe that was all I needed to shake off this vision fiddling heat? Something so simple as staying hydrated had been shrugged off the withers like it was no big deal, was I loosing it? It appears so. Leaving the cool shade I make my way over to a stream, lowering my velveteen muzzle to the water. Being all on my own was also starting to wear out with me. I've come across a couple equine since I established my herd and acquired this hefty responsibility as the Neutral's Alpha. Do I deserve such a title? That's up for debate for whoever challenges such a question. This rank is like a giant kick to the hindquarters to make sure that I am making the best with what I've got for this second chance at life.
Making sure I had my fill, a quick roll in the cool liquid helped the rest of me cool down. The dirt and parasites washed away as the current of the stream drifted further away from my sleek and muscled frame. Debating on what to do next I finally decided to make my way down to the shoreline, to view one of the last sunsets of Summer. Maybe, I'd come across the mare I had met upon first arrival in these lands. She was the closest thing I could consider as a friend here. The shores around the Ivory Isle were most familiar to me, just like my home in the Qeynos Valley. Leaving the stream I followed it until the forest and shrubbery disappeared allowing the tall sea grasses and wind from the ocean to be displayed in full glory. It wasn't until my eyes caught sight of a patched up figure laying along the sands close to the approaching waves. Curiosity taking hold, I had to make sure that this creature was at least alive. Halting a few feet away I nicker a soft greeting as a young filly was down there dreaming away. "Wake little one...The tide is coming in."
Complete ~ Sorry for the wait, I've been slow >.< |
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Post by Maylea on Jan 5, 2012 21:56:15 GMT -8
Quiet, perfect, complete, easy to relax in quiet. The chocolate, ivory, and strawberry cream foal sat with ease among the comforts of the beach, the grainy sand contorting around her foalish form, tangling in the baby feathers around each hoof. She was barely a year old, but all together rather malnourished. It wasn't her fault, though; she just had no interest in eating. No interest in socializing. She barely had an interest in surviving. It was another example of just what an abusive sibling can do to an already fragile mind. A mind so fragile that it's existence was a mystery to begin with. Suffering from an avoidant personality disorder wasn't the easiest, especially when all of her secret fears were made true by her older sister's lying and cruel words. Her sister . . . had it not been for persephone, so much of her life might have been more simple. She may have slowly over come her personality disorder, with the love and tender affection of her mother, with the protective and careful dedication of her father. But . . . Persephone had other plans when it came to her sister, and Maylea's mind. Playing games like: 'let's hurt Maylea', and always calling her ugly and unwanted; repeatedly pushing her and shoving her. Maylea was able to put up with it for a few months, but by the time she was 8 months old, she couldn't stand it any longer, and so she left. She found there was no other real option. It was either leave, or risk possible serious injury or even death. Persephone refused to leave Maylea alone, and in the end Maylea had to leave herself. She hadn't even been able to say good bye to her mother and father, afraid they'd try to stop her, even more afraid that she'd want to stay. If she decided to stay, she'd likely have been in worse condition then she was in now. And it wasn't like she could talk to her parents about Persephone's abuse. They both thought that Persephone adored her sister, took care of the youngest of the triplets, the smallest of the triplets. That Persephone was there to protect Maylea, not to destroy her. They never could understand, and Maylea was to afraid of her sister to try and make them become aware of the situation.
So, now, Maylea was here, on the beach, alone. Though, she supposed, in a way, she'd always been alone. Of course I have . . . there's no other option but to be alone. No one wants me, everyone hates me. Why should I make their day worse by being around them. They'll just hate me and glare at me, and I hate that. I just want to be alone, on my own. Where I don't have to worry about the glares, the disapproving looks, the distaste at how ugly and unwanted i am. Ugly and unwanted. How did it come to this! Why me. Why does everyone hate me? What did I ever do to them? I just want some friends, someone I can rely on . . . but all I get is nothing. Because I'm unwanted, unloved . . . ugly, and stupid, dumb and crazy, disgusting. She stared out at the ocean, and for a moment a tear trekked down her face. This land was almost to much like her fathers. It lacked the heat from the underground lava pool, it lacked the hot springs, and hot lake water, and all the mist and fog. But otherwise, it was so much like the tropical jungle and forest she grew up in. Which is probably what started the day dreaming.
Maylea had never been much the day dreamer, she saw no point in it considering the fact that day dreaming led to dreams, which led to wishes, which lead to desires, which ultimately led to disappointment and heartbreak. Her eyes were half closed, and for a moment, she could almost feel her mother pressed against her, see Burlesque and Liquor playing in the water. Her older brother, by a few minutes, was trying to be adventurous and her father was watching them as protectively as possible. No Persephone, no hatred, no disappointment. One happy family, like the family she never seemed to be allowed to have. She closed her eyes, letting her attention drift slightly. Which was why she never heard the approaching hoof beats, lost in a world that should have been but never was.
Wake little one...The tide is coming in. Her entire body froze, her eyes going wide, her ears falling to the sides in a sign of sudden fear. She stood on shaky limbs, turning to face the stallion, even as she stumbled back slightly, feeling the water encase her ankles. She made no other movements, no other sounds, as she watched him, her gaze afraid, before it lowered to the ground. But then she realized something. little one? what did that mean? She was not little? How could she be when her parents were so large? And why hadn't the stallion attacked her. Her voice was quiet, and yet high with the fear that he'd suddenly lash out in hatred, to get rid of the ugly little filly infront of him. but despite the fearful, quiet words, she spoke in nothing but a polite way, "But . . . I was not asleep." Why did he try and make move anyways . . . Everyone knows the world would be better with out me. So why not just let me drown in the sea?
"Shy honesty"
Whispered secrets
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Post by Solar on Jan 18, 2012 12:38:59 GMT -8
My way of being was to be alone, ever since from what I can remember I was always alone. Didn't like it all that much, but you have to live with what you've been dealt in order to survive. Of course there's always a chance for change, but when does that opportunity come knocking on the tree standing next to you? It's very rare and comes unannounced. One moment you'd be lazing about on a sunny afternoon because you've got nothing better to do when you feel this kick to your gut. Then the little voice inside your head practically screams at you to go seek out some companionship, to make something out of your life, for only fools live their lives completely alone. It got me thinking away from this foolishness.
My thoughts had traced me back to the present situation of where a flicker of companionship could be made. This filly laying amidst the sands a few feet before me. Her painted coat stretched across bones of possible decent size passed down through genetics, but her frailness would protest otherwise. The poor thing must be starving, though a sensitive topic to bring up upon first meeting. Perhaps best to be brought up later or to wait for the filly herself to say something. Where were her parents? Clearly by now one of them would have noticed my presence and come to defend her. Not, that I'm going to do anything, foals are the only weak spot buried within me, only under absolute circumstances may things happen.
Seeing her ears flick I knew that my presence was acknowledged and that I was thought of as a threat. Very understandable in this scenario. I can only imagine the thoughts and fear running through her. Even as she shoots up from the ground and stumbles a bit to look at me I do not budge. My stance is firm yet holds no harshness. Eyes remain soft and focused on the startled filly. Ears perked forward in interest waiting for the sounds of her voice. "But . . . I was not asleep." Hmm, from the distance I was at I could have sworn, oh well, it's easy to mistake from afar. Deciding that extended silence would only draw out the filly's fear more I responded calmly to her reply. "Forgive me then...I will leave you alone if you wish, your parents might not want a stranger near you anyway..." Nicely done Hawk, maybe you can get some answers about her parent's whereabouts since there could be other dangers afoot.
Complete ~ Woo for site-wide downtime ugh! Sorry for the crappyness =[ |
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Post by Maylea on Mar 17, 2012 12:01:52 GMT -8
 who is this girl i seestaringstraightbackatmewhenwillmyreflection show who i am-------------------------------------------------------------- insideLong ago, it had been very long ago since Maylea decided that she'd always be alone. That no one would ever want her to be around. Persephone had done her part in destroying the happy, foal like spirit her younger sister had; and now the filly had such a strong sense of helplessness it was rather . . . well sad. She didn't believe in herself, wouldn't believe that anyone would ever want her around. She was simply the unwanted, lesser sister to the beautiful Persephone. Or so she'd been taught. It didn't take long for the little voice in her head to stop arguing with the words her sister fed her, and to start believing them. And so when Persephone had told her she should just run away, and never return; Maylea believed her and did just that. She ran away, and never looked back. Her tiny body shivered lightly as she seemed to huddle into herself. She'd been alone for so long now, she was beginning to think that she could never be allowed to be around other horses again.
So it had definitely startled her when someone was suddenly there. Her entire body seemed to shake, as she shot up from her former position on the ground, stumbling back as she moved backwards; away from the potential threat. All equine were potential threats, now a days. She expected them all to be just like Persephone, only there to hurt her, destroy her, and tear her down when she least expected it. Her eyes lowered, as she shook slightly, her head tucked close to her chest, her tail flat against her hind quarters. Her legs were spread out slightly, in a braced position that showed her uncertainty of this whole situation. Her ears fell flat, even as she spoke.
As the stallion spoke, his tone calm, she stood still, hesitating. Forgive me then...I will leave you alone if you wish, your parents, Instantly she winced at the one word. What parents. They were gone, they didn't want her, they'd never wanted her. Persephone had made sure that she knew that. And if her own parents hadn't wanted her, then who would. might not want a stranger near you anyway... She didn't respond, her gaze on the ground, as she back pedalled a few more steps before she finally spoke, "I . . . don't have any parents." She whispered, her tone meek and clearly frightened. "Persephone said they . . . didn't want me and that I should leave. So . . . I ran away." She didn't look up, her voice quiet and hesitant, as if certain she'd say the wrong thing and be punished for it. She watched him through his reflection in the water, waiting to see his response, to see what he'd do - while she remained stiff; and ready to run should the need arise. It always did . . .
"Shy honesty"
Whispered secrets
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