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Post by canine on Sept 15, 2011 17:20:45 GMT -8
 You were the one who was so infatuation with this alliance, not me. You were the one who held up their ideals so properly. Everything about this alliance was everything you devoted your life to. Every smile and spoken word seemed so natural. It was always easy for you, wasn't it? You never had to pause to think over your words. You never had to pause to think about your actions. Being a light was in your blood. It was everything you were born to be. Looking at it now I can see how we were complete opposites. You lived under the sun and I could only hide in the shadows. At first it was thrilling; danger, violence, blood, gore. I loved it with every fibre of my soul. It shook me to the core to know that there was a life outside the smiles and peace.
Every time I turned my back on you, however, you would only watch as your heart broke. I couldn't live like a light then. I couldn't follow your way of life. You let me go that one night and I wonder if you regretted it ever. You must have because it wasn't long after that you came looking for me. It wasn't long after that the shadows I came to adore ripped you apart. Your body was so broken when I found you. Your knees shook with every stumbled step, you face was swollen and bruised. But despite being so shattered you could only smile when you saw me. You could only plead and wish that I would come home, return to the light with you.
We only made it as far as those crystal forests before you crumpled into a heap. You were my brother, my best friend and the only family I had who had any kind of sway upon me. After all those times I broke your heart, it was your turn to break mine. As I watched the life drain from your face we made one final promise – I would never turn from the lights again. It was because of you that I'm here now.
A quivering breath escaped my lips as I took a careful step into this place I would call home. It had been well over a year now since I left the coastal mountains. A year since everything in my life seemed to take a violent turn around. Not once in that entire year would I have predicted this. For much of that time I was occupied with my own thoughts. I had to sort myself out and find an affection for the lights once again. The barbaric ways of the demon king(from those coastal mountains) left the bitter taste of decay upon my tongue. Slaughter, raiding, rape and maiming everything in my path – the more I thought about it, the more I was ashamed and humbled.
My eyes shut tight as I raised my head.
Things were different here. I wasn't known as a traitor, a confused child. Here I was the light beta. Here I had a clean slate and I could start a new. Perhaps I wasn't the most ideal light but a promise to a ghost was the one thing that kept me going. That promise to you kept me shackled dutifully. It was also that promise that fed the fire of my growing distaste to the alliance of shadows. I didn't desire to live among them – I hadn't for well over a year now. Instead I could stand here with a wondering thought that maybe one day I could be proud of what I've done.
It was upon these shining shores that I would start everything over again. As I opened my eyes again I couldn't help but look at what was out in front of me with a renewed sense of relief. My shoulders lowered as the tension slipped away. Careful steps were taken towards the frost covered beaches. The thin layer of ice that had formed over the shores was starting to recede with the coming of spring. The water lapped eagerly as the frosty sands. A very notable smell of salt filled the air and in the distance I could swear I heard the retuning call of a gull. Aquatic life seemed to be at a stand-still but I knew with springs coming that these waters would once again return to life.
It was a sobering thought and for a moment I wished you were hear to share this with me. We could have bumped shoulders like we always did and grinned because we did it. We achieved something worth remembering in our lives. Light Beta. My tongue rolled against the roof of my mouth at the thought. Barely moving my jaw I mouthed the word. It was as strange as it was an escape. Taking a heavy step against the sands I felt my hooves sink in the thawing ground.
This would be a new beginning.
This is where I could finally let you go.
“I did it, brother. I hope you can forgive me – that I can forgive myself.”
complete
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